I talked to this guy on a dating site. I’m not looking for anything serious, and I’m up front about that. This dude thought that meant he could ask invasive and specific questions about my sexual history (I’m bisexual, and he wanted detailed accounts of my experiences with women) and just weird personal stuff (he asked me to describe all of my underwear).
When I told him I always use protection, and even use condoms for blowjobs, he freaked out. He sent me two long emails before this one, complaining about it, and comparing condoms to being forced to wear a wet suit. He claimed he doesn’t even need to be tested because he’s never had PIV sex. But he has had anal and oral! So clearly he’s not a safe partner, and he’s woefully uneducated.
He told me “I’m not a fan of the attitude” because after he complained that I wasn’t answering his many detailed and personal questions, I said I didn’t want to answer all of them.
The final straw was him accusing me of being “sexually jaded and taking it out on [him].” Because women knowing what they want and clearly defining their boundaries must mean they’ve been assaulted.
After this, he continued to email me (with no response from me) for half an hour. He begged me to talk to him again, saying “I do have a non-sexual flaw that might end this anyway…” like that’s supposed to be some dramatic cliffhanger. And, “At least talk to me again and leave for the reason I think you will…” Yeah, so he can conveniently force blame onto me, call me a bad person, and avoid any inkling of taking responsibility for his behavior.
I came online the next night, and he started sending me messages on the site’s chat system. This all despite me telling him GOODBYE in my final message.
But CLEARLY he respects me! And my decisions! And he graciously agreed to go along with them (after throwing a fit)! Yeah he sounds like a safe person to be alone with.
It boggles my mind that guys call ME angry and emotional. Like, dude, I have no feelings about you or this. I’ve talked to you for maybe an hour. I’m not attached to you. I don’t care. But when I say *I’m* not interested in them, they lose their shit.